


In Which A Wizard Is Injured At A Rugby Match

by bobblemonkey2



Category: Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones, Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Lemon, One Shot, bookverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24504826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobblemonkey2/pseuds/bobblemonkey2
Summary: Howl returns home after a rugby reunion wanting to be nursed back to health, only to find that he doesn’t receive the sympathy he expects...
Relationships: Sophie Hatter/Howl Pendragon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 97





	In Which A Wizard Is Injured At A Rugby Match

**Author's Note:**

> My first book-inspired one shot! I imagine this to happen somewhere between the first and second book. I wanted it to be as much like Diana Wynne Jones’ writing style, so expect a lot of quarrels between Sophie and Howl in anything I write!
> 
> Disclaimer: all characters belong to Diana Wynne Jones.

‘Owwwww!’ Howl stomped in through the front door, freshly bruised from a reunion rugby game with his university pals. ‘Sophie?’ He called out, wondering why she wasn’t waiting by the door to nurse him immediately after the game. He called out again to no avail.

‘She’s gone out,’ grumbled Calcifer from the fireplace, noisily awoken from his afternoon slumber by Howl’s whining. 

‘Where in all of Ingary could she possibly have gone? She knows I need to be nursed after my rugby games!’ Howl slumped down on the sofa, letting out a painful groan as he did so.

Calcifer rolled his eyes. Why would anyone want to play such a vicious sport, he thought, especially if it prompted so much whining? 

‘She didn’t say where she was going. Probably to visit Martha or Lettie, or maybe Fanny. So many possibilities.’ Calcifer feigned concern. All he was concerned about at this moment was sleep.

‘Since you’re no longer bound to the castle couldn’t you go and search for my darling wife yourself?’ Howl grunted  
as he inspected a particular bruise on his elbow.

‘I could. But I don’t want to.’

‘And they call me heartless!’ Howl was getting impatient now - not one person seemed to care how hurt he was. ‘Michael?’ He shouted.

‘Gone too I’m afraid - said something about surprising Martha.’

‘What’s the point in living with so many people if they’re never in!’ Howl wailed, and Calcifer sensed he was only one more tantrum away from oozing green slime. Luckily, the Kingsbury door opened at that moment and Sophie walked in before any slime could be oozed.

‘Finally!’ Howl cried out, exaggerating his pain in another loud grunt, ‘I am terribly injured. Sophie I really think I might die.’

‘Oh calm down Howl it’s just a few bruises. What’s more concerning to me is your smell!’ She threw her basket down on the kitchen counter, and began unloading various produce from it, barely glancing at the battered wizard.

‘You do smell horrible.’ Calcifer agreed.

‘So now I’m injured and insulted. The company in this house is dreadful!’ Howl shot a snickering Calcifer an angry look. 

‘I think I’ll go find some peace and quiet for my nap elsewhere. Maybe Lettie and Ben’s, they have a nice big fireplace.’ Calcifer declared and promptly disappeared.

‘Sooooophie!’ Howl whined, this time clutching at his ribs in apparent agony. ‘Sophie seriously I feel terrible! You really need to look after me!’ 

Sophie, who was trying to ignore her wailing husband by busying herself with food preparation, turned to face the whiny wizard. ‘What exactly is wrong, Howl?’

‘It was Ewan, he tackled me from behind when I thought I was in the clear - I think he broke a rib or something! And he got my hair all muddy!’ 

Sophie couldn’t tell if Howl was more upset about his injury or his hair, though she had a strong idea. ‘Ugh, let’s see then!’ If Howl was really set on having her dote on him, he wouldn’t mind going hungry for a bit.

Sitting beside Howl she rolled up his shirt slightly to get a better look at what was giving him grief. He yelped in pain. Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘Stop being so dramatic,’ she sighed.

‘Dramatic! DRAMATIC! I’ll have you know I could die, I think that deserves a little drama!’ He sank into the sofa, being sure to let out another groan as he did so.

Sophie traced her fingers along his ribs, noticing a little swelling. She pressed down on it which caused Howl to yelp once again. This was fun, she thought.  
‘It’s certainly swollen.’

‘I could have told you that.’ Howl snarled.

‘Well if you’re so capable of diagnosing yourself I’ll get back to chopping those carrots,’ she made to get up but Howl grabbed her hand.

‘No! I’m sorry, cariad. I’m just in so much pain.’

‘I’ll never understand why you love that wretched sport so much - you always seem to come back bruised and battered! Even fighting the Witch of the Waste didn’t leave you in this bad of a state!’ Despite her joking tone, Howl sensed genuine concern in his wife’s voice. He knew she hated seeing him hurt, even if he was milking it.

‘It’s perfectly safe, cariad,’ he comforted her. ‘I’m just a bit out of practice.’

‘I hope that doesn’t mean you’re going to be practicing more often!’ She said, annoyed. ‘Anyway let’s get back to this damned rib.’ 

She went to the sink in order to wet a cloth, then placed it on Howl’s injured spot. ‘That helps,’ he breathed a sigh of relief.

When the cloth had seemingly soothed all it could, Sophie decided that more magical means would provide a quicker cure. Softly, she touched the swollen area and said, ‘right then rib, you’ve taken a bit of a blow but now it’s time for you to stop giving Howl so much grief.’ The spell seemed to work, as the swelling slowly went down and the redness disappeared.

‘Ah!’ Howl sighed, pain free at last. ‘You really should consider a career in nursing.’

‘I’m fine with the flower shop thank you very much! Now will you promise to stop getting yourself so hurt at these rugby matches! You’re too old to be getting beaten up all the time.’ Sophie said sternly.

‘Too old! You soothe one injury only to give me another! You truly are an evil woman.’

‘And you’re an evil, heartless man making me worry so much about you!’ Sophie’s concern for her husband now brimmed at the surface, only subsiding when he placed a hand on her cheek.

‘How about I just watch from the sidelines next time?’ He smiled, which seemed to melt all Sophie’s troubles away.

‘Well, that’s a start. I better get back to dinner.’ She made to get up, but Howl had other plans.

‘The carrots can wait,’ he smirked as he placed his lips on hers, any semblance of pain gone.


End file.
